How to have power and confidence while dealing summary,conclusion and my thoughts with pictures and examples
Name of the book: How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People
Author: Les Giblin
Review - Good Reads
About the Book
A huge number of individuals realize that they need things from others. Yet, they are modest in following what they need in the dread that satisfying their own wants would be narrow-minded. They normally accept that accomplishing thriving and bliss for themselves would unavoidably mean denying another individual of some achievement or joy.
How about we make one thing straight: effective human relations implies giving the other individual something he needs as a byproduct of something you need. Any other strategy for managing individuals essentially doesn't work. The peruser who has no compunctions about taking what he needs from others without giving something consequently needn't bother with a book on human relations.
This book is composed of those a huge number of individuals who might want to ace the specialty of getting what they need from the other individual—and making the other individual cheerful about it.
Let’s understand this book in more detail.
MAKING HUMAN INSTINCT WORK FOR YOU
YOUR KEY TO SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS
- Simply figuring out how to coexist with individuals is no assurance of either success or happiness. Human relations is the study of managing individuals so that our consciences and their self-images stay flawless. Furthermore, this is the main strategy for coexisting with individuals that ever bring any success or any real satisfaction.
- The Carnegie Institute of Technology analyzed the records of 10,000 persons and arrived at the conclusion that 15 percent of success is due to technical training, to brains and skill on the job, and 85 percent of success is due to personality factors, to the ability to deal with people successfully.
- The only way you can get the things you want from your life is to acquire experience in communicating with others.
HOW TO USE THE BASIC SECRET FOR INFLUENCING OTHERS
- We 're all selfish people.
- We are on the whole keener on ourselves than in anything else on the planet.
- Each individual you meet wants to feel significant and to sum to something.
- Each human being is hungry for approval.
- A hungry ego, that's a mean ego.
- Satisfy the other person's desire for self-esteem, and he will naturally become more polite and compassionate.
- Jesus stated, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." Psychologists presently disclose to us that except if you do adore yourself in the feeling of making them feel of confidence and self-respect, it is incomprehensible for you to feel neighborly toward others.
- Remember LS/MFT. Low Self-esteem Means Trouble and Friction.
- Make the other guy like himself better to make it easy for you to get along with him.
- Individuals act, or neglect to act, to a great extent to upgrade their own egos
HOW TO CASH IN ON YOUR HIDDEN ASSETS.
- Don’t be stingy in feeding the hunger of individuals for a feeling of importance.
- Don't underestimate "tiny courtesies" like being on schedule for an appointment. It's really about these little acts that we understand the value of the other person. Sadly, we are always more courteous to outsiders than to people at home. Seek to treat your relatives and friends with the same respect as you extend to strangers.
- Advise yourself that others are significant, and your mentality will get across to the next individual.
- From today, start to notice more about the other people. Pay attention to a man or a boy, and make him feel secure.
- Don't boss it over other people, or seek to increase your own sense of self-importance by making others feel low.
HOW TO CONTROL THE ACTIONS AND ATTITUDES OF OTHERS
HOW YOU CAN CONTROL THE ACTIONS AND ATTITUDES OF OTHERS
- If you know it or not, you influence the behavior and attitudes of others through your own acts and attitudes.
- Your own attitudes are reflected back to you by the other person almost as if you were standing in front of a mirror.
- Act or feel antagonistic and the other individual mirrors this aggression back to you. Yell at him, and he is nearly constrained to yell back. Act serenely and dispassionately, and you turn away his indignation before it begins.
- Act happily, and you arouse the excitement of the other guy.
- Act with trust, and the other person has faith in you
- Begin to cultivate an enthusiastic attitude today. Take a hint from Frank Bettger and pose as if you were really excited. Shortly you 're going to feel excited.
- At the present time, start purposely to develop a sure way. Try not to mutter your words as though you were reluctant to express them. Stand up. Watch your stance. A drooped figure means that you view the weights of life as excessively overwhelming for you to hold up under. A hanging head connotes that you are vanquished by life. Hold your head up. Fix up your shoulders. Stroll with a certain progression, as though you had someplace critical to go.
HOW YOU CAN CREATE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION ON OTHER PEOPLE
- When interacting with other people, when you start the interview, you yourself sound the keynote of the whole theme.
- When you begin with a note of formality, the meeting will be formal. Start with a note of friendliness and the meeting should be fun. Set the stage for a business-like conversation, and it's going to be business-like. Start with a note of apology, and the other person will push you to play the theme all the way through.
- When you first meet someone, the impact you make is most likely to be the keynote that will decide how he looks at you for the rest of his life.
- Some people prefer to consider you as part of your own assessment. When you think you 're a nobody, you 're basically asking other people to snub you.
- One of the best ways ever found to impress the other guy positively is not to try too hard to make an impact but to let him know that he's making a strong impact on you.
- Others judge you not only by the opinion you hold of yourself, but also by the opinions you hold of other things: your work, your business, and even your competition.
- Toxic views are building a negative environment. Don't be a knocker, man. Don't be a sorehead.
- The way you ask questions yourself sets the tone or sounds the keynote to the other person's response. Don't ask the "no" question if you want the "yes" answer. Don't ask questions or give orders that suggest that you're expecting trouble. Why are you looking for trouble?
TECHNIQUES FOR MAKING AND KEEPING FRIENDS
HOW TO USE THREE BIG SECRETS FOR ATTRACTING PEOPLE
- The true essence of an appealing personality is to give other people the food they 're starving for. Humans are almost as greedy for other things as flies are for sugar.
- Use the Triple-A Formula for attracting people:
- Acceptance: Consider people the way they are. Enable them to be on their own. Don't say that anyone is fine until you can like him. Don't fashion a religious straitjacket and ask others to wear it to earn your approval. Don't bargain for recognition, above all. Don't tell, in fact, "I'm going to support you because you're going to do that or that, or change your ways to suit me."
- Approvement: In the other guy, look for something to support. It may be something small or trivial. Just let the other individual know that you approve of it, and the number of items that you will genuinely support will continue to grow. Once the other guy gets a taste of your real acceptance, he will continue to modify his actions so that he will be accepted for other things.
- Appreciation: Evaluating means raising value, rather than depreciating, which means lowering value. Let other people know that you value them. Treat other people as if they were of interest to you. Don't leave them waiting on you. Okay, thank them. Grant them "private" and unique care.
HOW TO MAKE THE OTHER FELLOW FEEL FRIENDLY—INSTANTLY
- Human ties are always blocked because each side is afraid to make the first move.
- Don't wait for a signal from the other man. Think he's going to be nice, so behave accordingly.
- Assume the approach you want the other person to take. Act as if you were expecting him to accept you.
HOW EFFECTIVE SPEAKING TECHNIQUES CAN HELP YOU SUCCEED
HOW YOU CAN DEVELOP SKILL IN USING WORDS
- Success and happiness depend to a large extent on our ability to express ourselves. So start learning ways to improve your talk today. Keep it in place day after day
- To be a good conversationalist, stop trying to be flawless, and don't be afraid to be dumb. Nuggets and gems in the conversation come only after you've mined a ton of low-quality gold.
- Ask questions to get some interesting talk from others. Encourage the other person to think about himself or herself. Think regarding the needs of the other person.
HOW TO MANAGE PEOPLE SUCCESSFULLY
- When you want other people to support you, you have to go all out, you have to ask for their suggestions as well as their minds.
- Give others credit for what they're doing. Express your appreciation of what they did by saying "thank you."
- Make the criticism impersonal; criticize the act, not the person.